


now the night is coming to an end

by transblurry



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Suicide, suicide letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 09:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transblurry/pseuds/transblurry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We humans are so fragile. Within a second our body and bones can shatter into a million pieces and leave something behind that isn't even remotely us.</p>
            </blockquote>





	now the night is coming to an end

We humans are so fragile. Within a second our body and bones can shatter into a million pieces and leave something behind that isn't even remotely us. Yet we complain about small things like taxes and crappy jobs although our lives are so much more than that. We complain about the smallest things and issues and they make our lives miserable. Before you're going to say 'But you complain a lot too', stop. I'm not done yet. I know I don't have a bad life. I have a family, I have enough money to buy food and I have a roof over my head. I shouldn't complain about anything because there are people who don't even have that. There are people who have to fight for their lives every day. And the better your life is, the more you start thinking about small things that can turn into big issues. These issues can lead to depression and maybe even suicide. I had much time to think. Too much. This is why I am where I am. I tried pulling myself out of my hole so often, but I'm not strong enough. I'm drained out of happiness because I'm having too much time to think. Light at the end of the tunnel? I wish. For a long long time I didn't believe in such a thing. Because there was just nothing that could give me hope. ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
But then my whole life turned upside down. You may not know, but meeting you had a great impact on my life, Josh. With you I felt comfortable enough to just be myself and joke around as if nothing ever happened. And my hopes got up. I started to believe in the light at the end of the tunnel, because I could finally see it. It was you. I was wandering so long around that dark thing and then there was you, basically waiting at the end. Thank you so much. For giving me the last bit of hope I needed. ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
Unfortunately I'm not able to ever know what would have happened if I reached the end of it. What would have changed between us, when I finally would have reached you? This is a question that will never be answered because I didn't reach it. And it is all my fault. When you started pulling me out of my hole, I started digging an even deeper one. But it was too far away to notice. Too close to the end of that god damn tunnel. ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
Depression is something you never get rid of. You can forget, but it is never truly gone. You helped me forget for such a long time and I am so thankful for that. Thank you so much. But sadly it wasn't gone like I hoped it was. It was just hiding. And today... today everything came crashing back down. I fell into the deepest hole I've ever digged and there was only one way to get out of it. ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
I'm sorry that it had to end like this. I'm truly sorry. I wish I could've known what would've happened as soon as I reached you. It rips me apart that I will never know. I am so so sorry. ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
I hope you will always keep in mind that you made my life better though. You showed me that not everything in this world is fucked up. There are always small miracles. I don't know what you will think. Will you think it was your fault? Will you think I'm selfish for doing this? I don't know. But know that it is no one's fault but mine. And that I probably am selfish for doing this. Just know that I.... ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
I love you. You were the man who showed me how to live and how to be happy again. I love you so much. Please forgive me. Not now. But some day... forgive me. ⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀  
Yours truly, ⠀⠀⠀  
Tyler

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this a year ago, just found it again and thought, hey why not post this? stay safe guys


End file.
